It was about time for a wind up…

… and this morning seemed like the perfect opportunity. Not a wind up as such, but playing on language barriers with one of our French teachers who is starting to smatter his English sayings with bits of broken Geordie:

“How did you get into the photocopying room earlier on?”
“Well, the door was locked, so how did you get in?”
“Uhm, I have key”
“Yes, but the new sign on the door says ‘This door must be kept locked at all times'”
“Ah, but look, I have key!”
“OK, but the door must be kept locked at all times. The sign says so. It’s a school rule, apparently”
“Ah, I lock behind me!”
“So, you locked the door behind you? But how did you get in?”
“I have key!”
“Yes, I can see that, but the door was locked.”
“I have key. I unlock door!”

Cue gasping from another member of staff quickly picking up on things…

“But, the school rule is that the door must be kept locked at all times”
“Yes, I open with key.”
“So, you’re admitting you broke the rule and unlocked the door?”
“I have paper to copy. I need to get into room.”
“But you broke the rule! The sign says ‘This door must be kept locked at all times’. You unlocked it!”
“I lock behind me. I go in, I lock door again.”
“Yes, but you still unlocked it though. There’s a camera right outside that door too!”

More gasping, and nodding of heads. Someone even chips in with it being a high-definition colour camera. Actually, it is. Easier for the police to review footage with apparently…

“How I get in if I not unlock door?”
“Through the window outside. You need to ask the caretaker for a ladder and climb through the window”
“No, you silly!”
“Nope, honestly. The sign says you’re not allowed to unlock the door at all”
“No, you silly! Sign is silly!”
“Maybe, but you still need to climb in through the window. Can’t unlock the door. Sign says so.”
“I don’t understand sign. Make no sense. Why sign say that?”
“Don’t know, I didn’t do it. Maybe ask one of the ladies in the office…”
“They make sign?”
“Yup, they’ll know what it means. They’ll explain it”
“OK, I go see.”

Just waiting for an abuse phone call from the admin office now wanting to know what the hell he’s been rambling on about for 5 minutes!


Senior Content Development for Microsoft writing about Azure Kubernetes Service (AKS). Model train nerd. Occasionally I play video games.

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