Anyone need their road tax at the end of the month?

So, thinking I’d make the most of another snow day (shame, eh?), I head down to the Post Office to get my road scam, sorry, tax, sorted out.

Having stood for 20 minutes surrounded by 130 year old people sharing ailments and illnesses, including 5 minutes at the front of the queue waiting for a couple to stop telling the postmaster how bad the snow was (chances are he already knew…), I’m told that as I’ve moved house, the certificate of insurance needs re-newing as it shows my old address. I had with me the old motor insurance schedule, the updated one reflecting my new address and the certificate, but no. He wouldn’t have it.

So, chunter back through the snow and call the insurers. “Oh yes, the certificate is fine, it doesn’t matter what address as it shows you being the registered owner and the car itself being insured”. Bugger this, I’ll just do it online. Sod the idea of supporting local post offices or they’ll go out of business. Why should I be inconvenienced (spelling, anyone?) just because he wants haul ass to the pie shop.

So, you fill in all your details on the shiny DVLA vehicle licensing website and press submit. And wait, and wait, and wait. 20 minutes it’s been loading the document. Doesn’t matter how many different browsers you try, refill in the form and re-submit, nothing. Eventually, it does go through, but as I haven’t had it MOT’d under the new system in last couple of months, they can’t check my car is MOT’d, so I can’t do it online, and have to go to the Post Office…

So, fuck it. I try to be a good citizen and abide by the law and get nowt. I don’t understand why they [b]don’t[/b] want to accept my money. May as well just not pay the road tax, revoke my insurance, and take the catalytic converted out the exhaust system.

In fact, no. I’ll go to France, then smuggle myself back into the UK on a lorry, claim I speak no English and wish to seek asylum. That way I can have a 7-bedroomed house, flash car, and Ã�£4k a week in my pocket from the Government. Plus, I’d have my road tax paid for me…


Senior Content Development for Microsoft writing about Azure Kubernetes Service (AKS). Model train nerd. Occasionally I play video games.

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